'Bippity boppity paid' payment wand

Tapping your card like a regular capitalist drone? Boring. Painful. Uninspired. Instead, whip out this literal magic wand, point it at the card reader, and whisper or SHOUT “Bippity boppity paid” while watching your bank account diminish in style.

Handcrafted for the modern witch, elder emo or anyone who wants to add a little chaotic theater to their purchases. It houses your payment card so you can cast financial spells on command. Will it stop the existential dread of spending money? No. But it makes the transaction look incredibly cool.